


Stay

by LadyBeloe



Category: Years and Years (BBC), Years and Years (Russell T. Davies), Years and Years (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22118941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBeloe/pseuds/LadyBeloe
Summary: Viktor reflects on his feelings for Daniel during and after storytelling night at the refugee camp.My take on Viktor's feelings after this scene in episode 1...
Relationships: Viktor Goraya/Daniel Lyons
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work I post on this site…Hope you'll enjoy it ! :) 
> 
> Disclaimer : The characters and universe of Years and Years are the property of Russell T. Davies and the BBC. I do not make any money from this.  
> The dialogues used here are quoted from episode 1 of Years and Years.

# Stay

Viktor had not been this happy in a long, long time. The blazing bonfire, the spell of the storyteller’s – Fran’s – dramatic voice, the sense of community that emanated from the audience, and the solid, comforting presence of Daniel next to him, sitting close enough for their legs and shoulders to touch, all of this was exhilarating.  
He honestly didn’t remember having consciously decided to take Daniel’s hand, nor when exactly he had. Maybe it was Daniel’s doing, and not his. But there they were, laughing and holding hands like an actual couple, and the soft and warm feeling of their intertwined fingers was enough to reassure Viktor that this was not a dream. The happiness increased and multiplied tenfold, making his whole body tingle.  
When the last story was finished and Fran finally stopped talking, it took a few seconds for the listeners to get out of their delighted trance. A roar of applause finally broke out, along with some whistling and shouting.  
The storyteller stood up and bowed, with a hand over her heart, and a bright smile on her face. Viktor shouted enthusiastically as well, not wanting to run the risk of breaking contact with Daniel to applaud. He noticed that the other man made no move to let go of his hand either. 

They found themselves standing in front of the wire fencing after everyone else had scattered and gone back to their usual activities. They stared at the water beyond for a while. Then Viktor heard Daniel giggle nervously, and he turned his head towards him, beaming. Daniel looked away shyly. They both chuckled, like two fumbling teenagers.

— I’d better go home, Daniel said at last, and Viktor knew he wasn’t imagining the regret in his voice. 

He stared at the wire again for a second to hide his disappointment before looking back at Daniel.

— Stay, he pleaded, trying not to sound too much like he was begging. 

Daniel moved towards him and, for one fleeting moment, Viktor thought he was going to kiss him – on the cheek, at least. But he was mistaken. 

— Sorry, Daniel answered, softly crushing Viktor’s hopes. 

And after a last, lingering stare, he lowered his head and went away. 

Viktor did not try to go after him. It was no use. Instead, he just downed the rest of his beer in one go, swallowing all the words he wished he could have said. 

_Stay, because I don’t want this moment to end._  
_Stay, because I like being close to you._  
_Stay, because you make me feel safe._  
_Stay, because I’m falling for you._

But this wasn’t only about him, was it? He couldn’t be that deluded. The longing in Daniel’s voice and eyes, the way his thumb had stroked the back of Viktor’s hand earlier…

_Stay, because I know you want to._

But Daniel was not the kind of man who would keep his husband anxiously waiting for him while he spent the night having fun with some foreigner he barely knew, just because he wanted to. Neither was he the kind of man who would just fuck Viktor quick and dirty to get him out of his system and be done with it before heading back home. Daniel was a good man. A genuinely good one. And of course, that was exactly why Viktor was falling so hard for him. But it was so, so wrong. It was so wrong of him to tempt Daniel when he was trying to do the right thing. He wanted to be faithful to his husband, and how could Viktor resent him for that? 

_He is not yours, he told himself once again. He is with another man. He is_ married _to another man, for God’s sake! You will never have him. Just let it go._

_We held hands. He didn’t pull away._

_He was just trying to be nice._

_He kept looking at me._

_He is obviously attracted to you. Doesn’t mean he is going to act upon it._

And then again, what did he have to offer? Daniel had a home, a husband, a family, a job. Viktor had nothing. He was nothing. Why would a man like Daniel want to be with someone like him? Why would he want to stay with him and spend the night in a tiny, poorly-isolated boat container with bunk beds when he could return home to a real, comfortable house, to a real, comfortable bed, and to a loving, sexy husband he could lie with in this big, comfortable bed and wake up next to in the morning, snug and well-rested?

In fact, Viktor didn’t know if Ralph was sexy or not. He had no idea what Ralph looked like. Daniel had never showed him any pictures. Viktor was glad he hadn’t, and yet, sometimes, he couldn’t help being curious. He wanted to know how hot Ralph was, if he was buff or thin, tall or small, White or Black, blond or dark-haired, if he looked at all like him, if Daniel had a type or not. He couldn’t help hoping that he was a least slightly better-looking than Ralph, that he had something, anything Ralph didn’t have. But it was stupid, and it didn’t change anything. Daniel loved Ralph. Daniel had known Ralph for years. And most of all, Daniel deserved a nice man who could give him everything he wanted. A man he could have projects with, go on holidays and attend family gatherings with. A man who could bring him breakfast in bed and watch TV curled up next to him on the sofa.  
Viktor’s heart ached. How he craved for all those things! All those stupid, boring things! How he wished he could be the one Daniel was rushing home to. How he wished he could cuddle up to Daniel all night in a big, comfortable bed, and see Daniel’s face waking up in the morning! 

_This is ridiculous. You’ve known him for three months. You’ve seen him only a couple of times. He is married._

_I’m in love with him._

_I’ve been in love with him since the day I met him._

A shiver ran through him, both from the realization and the cold night air, now that he wasn’t near the bonfire anymore. Resignedly, he made his way back to his container, closed the door behind him, and prepared himself to go to bed. He slipped under the covers in the lower bunk and lay on his back, unable to think about anything else.  
When it became clear he wasn’t going to fall asleep, he gave in and pushed his underwear down to close a hand around his length, slowly stroking himself. If he couldn’t have anything else, he could at least have that, although he knew the illusion would be short-lived. He tried to avoid jerking off thinking of Daniel because it only made things worse. But every time he saw him, he was faced with the painful reminder that everything about this man was sexy. His build, his voice, his smile, his stunning blue eyes, even his ridiculous ears that somehow made Viktor want to nibble and lick them. He moaned at the thought, glad that he didn’t have to share is little habitat with a roommate right now. He dragged things out as long as he could, panting, eyes shut, holding on to the fantasy, but it was still over way too soon. When the last remains of afterglow wore off, he mechanically cleaned himself, got back under the covers and curled in on himself, wishing for strong arms to hold him, and soothing breathing against his neck, and feeling colder and lonelier than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so in love with this couple it hurts….
> 
> Comments and kudos are very welcome ! :)


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